The Type A Personality Weight Loss Program!

Guaranteed Results! No change in diet needed!

First, make sure to keep your regular job. Then add another job, at least part-time. The next step is to pick 2-4 long-term goals, and a handful of hobbies. Once you have all of these set up…work towards all of them with the energy and intensity to complete and finish them all early. Add in semi-regular workouts, to increase the burn. And remember, if you can’t do all of it…you’re a loser. If you’re not at least somewhere among the best, there’s no point playing the game.

Just try it, and watch the pounds melt off. And remember, I’m not just the creator…I’m also psychotic.

Respect

Today’s lecture, boys and girls, is on respect. Specifically, just a couple aspects of showing that respect for someone you know, and supposedly enjoy the company of.

This rant has primarily been prompted by recent events, but it’s been an ever-present issue of mine. If you have some issue with me, or really with anyone you know…SAY SOMETHING. Seriously, am I the only one who finds it disrespectful and downright cowardly to hear these types of things second- and third-hand? How little must you think of someone to not bring these things to them? To have some problem, but not be willing to tell it to the one person most central to it.

Or is it simple cowardice? I know I can be intense, maybe even frightening, and for most humans to confront me is probably something akin to a lamb trying to stare down a wolf. But when you have been asked to be forthright, to be honest and plain, to do otherwise seems to show no regard for my wishes, no respect for my wants. It shows that you don’t think enough of me to actually listen to what I want, and/or you don’t have enough courage to actually risk saying something negative.

Now, one more point. Repeat after me, boys and girls: Double standards are BAD. Hypocrisy is BAD. Getting angry at someone else for doing the exact same thing you did, in a like situation, is ignorant and selfish. Expecting someone else to hold to standards that you, yourself, do not is likewise ignorant and selfish. Granted, selfishness seems to be a great trait of the human species…but maybe you could at least be a little bit subtle about it, hmm?

Supposed to be 2-way...

This topic has been bouncing around in my head for a few days now. It has taken me this long to post it because I have also been suffering from the flu, which was also the inspiration for this topic.

Specifically, while ill I considered calling in sick to work. Yet my current employer places less value on the health and well-being of it's employees, and more value on having people to man the phones. I say this because staying out sick counts as an official "occurrence", meaning I can get fired for it, despite being ill myself and contagious to others. So, I went to work anyway, light-headed, running a fever, etc.

And this is not the first employer I have seen this type of attitude from. It seems that the larger the company, the less loyalty and regard they have for their employees. Yet, those same companies punish displays of "disloyalty", like attempts to unionize, seeking other employment, etc. Even saying something negative about the employer can result in summary termination. So, these companies want absolute, blind loyalty, yet give absolutely none in return.

And nobody complains about this? Right now, I'm wondering what the Health Dept. might have to say about the company requiring employees to come in feverish and contagious, or risk firing...

Struck a chord...

A friend of mine wrote this, as a song. I repost it here because it (for obvious reasons) struck a bit of a chord with me. I have a more involved post in mind for later, but just don't have the time to post it right now. Hopefully my schedule will improve soon...

The auther's name is Danae Dunning, also listed at the bottom.

"Not For You"

I gave all of myself to you
Would have done anything for you
But you shut me out
And pushed me away
You just gave me up without a fight
And when I left, you didn't even say goodbye

My songs are not for your ears
My body is not for your eyes
My kisses aren't for your lips
You had it all
Yet threw it away
I'm not for you anymore.

Why didn't you say what's on your mind
You didn't even bother to try
Don't you dare say you're sorry
And that you'll always love me
I have forgiven, but I won't forget
Just go away and let me move on.

My songs are not for your ears
My body is not for your eyes
My kisses aren't for your lips
You had it all
Yet threw it away
I'm not for you anymore.

Danae Dunning 2010

List 1: These things I believe

Yeah, haven't been able to post as often as I'd like. Busy life, and honestly wanting it a little busier. And so, as a filler type of thing, and also when I can't think of a more involved post (or more than an outline for one), I have decided on an occasional List. For example, this one came to me as I thought about all of the rediscovering myself I have since leaving the abusive relationship, and the lying user.

I am not e religious person, and could only barely be even considered a spiritual person. But that does not mean that I do not have beliefs and morals, things that I personally believe in.

1) I believe that there is a Creator. However, I personally don't think that such is a being is personally knowable or understandable by humanity. Which would explain the several dozen different religions. I follow my heart, and what I feel to be right, instead of what any book may tell me.
2) Honesty and honor are about the most important virtues to me. I don't make promises that I know I won't be able meet (which leads to me actually just sounding noncommittal). I don't lie, unless it's to hide a greater surprise as a result. But, it is too often as Juvenal said: "Honesty is praised, and left in the cold."
3) I'm terrible at even 'Social Lying'. It's because I really don't hide all that much of myself. Pretty much anyone can me anything, and I will at least endeavor to answer it honestly. Just never ask me something, unless you're sure you want to hear the answer.
4) Cynicism is loving the world too much to be happy with seeing it be less
5) I'm either hedonistic, or polyamorous. I'm really not sure. I like sex, I like pleasure, I even like just giving pleasure. And I don't believe that sex is necessarily exclusive to love or relationship. I do, however, personally require some level of trust and knowing the person beforehand, though. (yeah, for some of you this'd seem obvious. Again, I am in rediscovery of myself)
6) Violence and anger can be positive, productive things.
7) Dreams should be cultivated. Calling someone a "dreamer" should not be a negative, even if those dreams are tacitly impossibly. Dreams give hope, and goals, or even just simple joy.
8) It is important to value the little things. The simple pleasures of, for example, a good pipe tobacco, some chocolate milk, and something decent to watch on TV.
9) I honestly think people need to be more vocal and active about the things they believe in and cherish. Too often it seems that people just say something quietly to a few of their friends...and then they wonder why nothing ever changes. If you have some problem with someone, tell them. They might take offense...but to do otherwise means that it will just fester in you, and likely lead to something more hurtful later.

There'll likely be more later. For now, I have things to go do. :)

On Top Of That Mountain

Yeah, I added a country song to the playlist. Not my usual run of music, but with one of my jobs being Waffle House, I have to listen to a lot of it. And this one, "Find Out Who Your Friends Are" by Tracy Lawrence, struck me.

"Everybody wants to slap your back/wants to shake your hand/when you're up on top of that mountain
But let one of those rocks give way then you slide back down look up/and see who's around then
This ain't where the road comes to an end/This ain't where the bandwagon stops
This is just one of those times when/A lot of folks jump off"

Maybe it's just a matter of how a person was raised, though I think it more a matter of standards and honor, but this is why I, honestly, refer to many more people as 'acquaintances' than I do as 'friends'. There's also the term some people like to use, 'fair weather friends'. This is a misnomer. Friendship is, or at least should be, a shared gift. If they're only around for the good times, they're not a friend. I don't expect people to go to quite the lengths I do (let's be honest, I know that I have some codepency issues, and quite possibly some martyr/savior complex). But I'd hate to think that I am in a minority of one for feeling contempt for those who walk around from a true friend when they're low.

I have some who will likely learn my views on this harshly. People who, when I was at my lowest, criticized me for it, turned their backs on me, and then had the unmitigated gall to tell me they'd love to see me again when I'm better. I was even so low that my first thoughts turned to ways to get better faster, to have them back. It makes me appreciate even more the ones who constructively criticised, and prodded me, and stuck it out. Because I have no doubt that the ones who left will see me again, smiling and having a great time, and will actually come to me smiling and asking how I'm doing. And my smile will disappear as I tell them I'm doing wonderfully, but since they walked away when I was low, then they should do us both a favor and just keep fucking walking.

GA State Patrol

So, I was arrested on November 30th, Thanksgiving weekend. Not a big charge, just driving on suspended license. But I spent 5-6 hours in jail, had to spend almost $250 to get out and get my car back. Had to get my mother to come up and bond me out, and to drive me to the other end of the county to get my car out of impound (about an hour drive). So, I call the Department of Driver's Services the very next day, to figure out what's going on, and how to get the license reinstated. They tell me: No, my license isn't suspended, all that's on it is two notes that I can't get a CDL. They recommend that I come in and get an MVR to prove it. I do, that very next day, and go ahead and get my license redone with my new address (haing recently moved) while I'm there. Then I go to court for the ticket. And the prosecutors/solicitors have already dismissed the case or decided not to pursue it or whatever, because they already discovered that my license wasn't suspended. So I then call the GSP to try to get back my money.

I am told by the GSP...that they are still in the right. The lieutenant I spoke to supposedly watched the video and everything. And I hereby call him either a liar or a fool. Now, I did not present my license to the arresting officer, but I did explain to said officer that it was with my other documents in the boxes in the car, for my move, and I OFFERED TO DIG THROUGH AND GET IT! The officer refused, said it wasn't necessary. GSP Lieutenant Brown says that my arrest is still valid, because I could've been arrested for not presenting that license. So, if the GSP pulls you over in GA, you apparently have to force your license on them; if they refuse to see it, it's your fault. Ladies, if you keep your license in your purse, you're fucked.

So, I do the responsible thing and get my license updated with new address, and that counts against me. I offer to get my license out from where I had it packed with my other documents, to keep them all safe...and the OFFICER'S refusal to let me is somehow MY fault.

Before I spoke to the lieutenant, I was also told to speak to the legal department. When I did, I was interrupted and told that they weren't responsible for that money, because none of it was paid to the GSP. I find that to be a rather interesting precedent. So, if someone were to bash in their windshields, that person would not be responsible for the repair costs. Because, of course, none of that money was paid to them. Therefore, it's the mechanic's responsibility.

And what makes this even more lovely, is the fact that each person I spoke to jumped so quickly to a position of high defense and self-righteousness that I was interrupted often, and gave up on going through several of these points with the actual people. So, when Lt. Brown told me the part about me having my license remade with my new address (or 'reissued' as he called it), like I'm legally supposed to do after having moved, I had given up by that time on having him hear me. The GSP is incompetent, ignorant, and will defend their position with lies and/or further ignorance. As well as with defenses that, last I heard, are not legal ("well, maybe you shouldn't have been arrested for that, but we could have aressted you for this, instead.") All compounded by an assumption of guilt, necessitating proof of innocence; I had always thought it was supposed to be the other way around.

New dress code

So, one of my jobs, DialAmerica, has decided to change their dress codes. Which wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing, normally. However, the changes involve now making it a termination offense...to have piercings and tattoos that people were HIRED WITH. People who have been with the company for months, years, now find themselves forced to make a choice between removing these piercings and adornments or losing their job. And I acknowledge, yes, it's their choice. But it is not a choice that they should be forced to make. Because these things were fine when the person was hired.

If they had an issue with these, it should have been a rule before hiring. Because it is NOT RIGHT to have someone come in to an interview, see that they have 2 or more facial piercings, tattoos running from their hands to the base of their jaw, or whatever, and tell the person that they are perfectly acceptable. Then let them get established, start doing well, let them train others because of how GOOD THEY ARE at their job. And then kick their legs out from under them by telling them that they are no longer acceptable, and FORCE them to make that choice after they have become established. Particularly at a call center environment, where the customers will never see these employees, employees that tend to post superb sales figures for their employers. I could've sworn that always taught that people who work hard and did well at their jobs...were rewarded.

And the odd part is, this rule would apply to roughly half of the sales floor employees. Thus, if these employees decided to push back some, and counter these strong-arm tactics, DialAmerica would be harming itself, as well. All these employers have to realize is that if DialAmerica actually enforced this rule to the letter, they would have to fire half their workforce. Yes, they can replace those people, but it would take time and money to find and hire new workers, plus the 2+ weeks put into training before those people are productive, and even more time before the new ones reached the levels of the experienced ones. There have been rumors of the company trying to woo new clients. I doubt those clients would be very impressed to see that DialAmerica has to abandon calls, lose and anger customers because they suddenly dropped half their workforce. In addition, if one really wanted to strike a blow: Such an employee would have plenty of free time, to do things like hang out near the company. And such a person could be very vocal to a potential new client, about how their former employee cannot keep it's word to an employee, so what kind of treatment will they give to someone that they would want to get every penny possible from...? You people are employees, not serfs, and you are only powerless if you LET YOURSELF BE. All it takes is the willingness to stand up for what is right.

"Wisdom is knowing what to do next; virtue is doing it." -David Starr Jordan

Hm

Also, as just a quick note: Hope you readers realize that you can post comments, discuss, etc...

Truisms

Just a short post tonight, busy with domestic tasks....

Practice what you preach.
No hypocrisy, no complacency! Mean what you say, and fight for what you claim to believe in.
Good and evil are not black and white, there are shades of grey. But you still feel in your heart which is which, and should know the paths to take.
Embrace darkness as much as light. Both have something to teach. For example, sometimes evil only fears an equal.
Don't just stare into the abyss. Make the abyss blink first.