Long History of Abuse...

I am a bit of a hedonist. And I enjoy indulging in the pleasures that this world has to offer. And I get people telling me that I'm wrong because of religious mandates, and that things should not be indulged in. It usually ends up with me wondering and asking why these things would be in this world, and why they would give such pleasure and enjoyment, if they were not to be indulged in. This generally prompts one of two answers.

One is that, well, God didn't put them here, the Devil did. They were put here to tempt us, and lead us astray. You know what, this only works if one of two things is true. One is, the Devil is as strong as God, strong enough that God cannot stop him. In this case, a lot of the rhetoric just doesn't really work. The other way for this to be true is if God condones it, in which case he may as well do it himself. If I watch you kill a family, and I stand there and do nothing to stop you or report it, I have committed almost as bad an atrocity as you.

And then there's the worst one I hear, to explain either the original oddity, or the previous answer when I question it. "We're being tested". You know what? I have been in an abusive relationship. After it ended, I went and did some research, kust to help myself over and past it. It was primarily mental and emotional. Things like, being demanded of things I hated, or put into uncomfortable or painful situations, and being told afterwards that it was a test, to see if I really loved her. Told that I was worthless or useless without her. Et cetera. I also recognized my enabling behavior, such as thinking/saying that she should test me, or that she was right.

If you have to cause someone pain, put them in a bad situation, or dangle someone they'd enjoy in front of them, in order to test their love for you, that is not love. That is cruel, and abusive. It smacks of insecurity. And yet, the people that spout this claptrap will say that otherwise, without God, they are nothing. Sound familiar? I am not an atheist, or against belief in some form of creator. But this type of "morality" needs some serious reexamination, to say the least

Because I never claim to be "good"...

In fact, let's be honest: I often to refer to myself as evil, and/or wicked, or other similar terms. However, I just stumbled across some of these, while looking for one particular quote I liked, and thought I'd share.

"It's better to be good than evil, but one achieves goodness at a terrific cost." -Stephen King
"Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction." -Blaise Pascal
"Those who forget good and evil and seek only to know the facts are more likely to achieve good than those who view the world through the distorting medium of their own desires." -Bertrand Russell
"Life - the way it really is - is a battle not between bad and good but between bad and worse." -Joseph Brodsky
"When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before." -Mae West
“Hear no evil, speak no evil - and you'll never be invited to a party” -Oscar Wilde
"Nature, in her indifference, makes no distinction between good and evil." -Anatole France
“Religion is an insult to human dignity. With or without it, you'd have good people doing good things and evil people doing bad things, but for good people to do bad things, it takes religion.” -Steven Weinberg

Useless Advice

So, I was reading through a thread on Fetlife, a guy who was looking for advice, thinking he was being "too nice". He saw it as at least a potential problem in himself. Kudos for him, looking for advice and help, seeking self-improvement. But then there were all the replies that were only, "You have to love yourself first" or "Don't be a doormat", as the total of their post.

Why the fuck bother typing anything? Seriously. Particularly as someone who's gone through something similar, I read these with some annoyance. It's like standing on a dock, seeing someone drowning, and calling, "Hey, dude...you should get out of the water."

If someone's looking for help, and all you can think of is to spout stale platitudes and sayings...unless you can add something concrete or constructive, you would only be wasting your breath, and the other person's time.