A letter...

This...is a little more personalized than most of my posts. But, it is something that I need to expel to the aether, to get it out of me. A letter, to someone that I really cannot stand to speak to in real life, simply because it makes me too sad, and makes me risk losing my (surprisingly, to some) tightly-reigned control:

"So, I asked you a small favor. A small one. I had left behind two items: My boots, and one of my favorite blades. All I asked was that you bring them along to someplace you were going to be going anyway. They weren't some cumbersome load. They weren't huge items that would require careful loading. And it wasn't like I asked you to go out of your way or make any special trip. Nor did I mention, at first, all the times that I have done the same for you when I found something left behind in my car, without needing to be asked. I did it because they were your items, and it was the right thing to do. So your first response was to get pissy with me, and say that you refused my messenger, and imply that I was asking something outrageous. And it took me having to convince you, to make you see that...this should not have been a big deal.

Then you never showed at the event. Now, I can understand that something might have come up, I truly do. However, the polite thing to do, the civilized and right thing...if someone is expecting something, maybe even looking forward to it, a message would be a nice thing to send when you cannot fulfill. Again: Not a big thing. 'Steven, I can't be there Saturday. So, in other words, I can't bring you your stuff.' You know? Simple. And then I would have known what was going on, and wouldn't have spent extra time outside, waiting for you to arrive, expecting and looking forward to getting these items back. It would have been the polite and decent thing to do; which is why I am not surprised that I received no such message.

You say you want to be friends, but you understand if it's too hard for me. Frankly, 'precious', it's not that it's too hard for me. It's that I know what you are really like. I spent too much time around you, listening to you talk behind the backs of others, telling untruths about me and to me. More time than was reasonable, simply because I was too far into you to see it then. Yet I held out hope that you could show yourself to be better, and I was fooled once more. You are a deceitful, insecure, and selfish person. You cloak your selfishness by pretending to be kind to others, but only do so to their faces, and so they will speak glowingly of you and salve your horrible insecurities. I don't hate you, nor am I angry anymore. Do whatever you want with my things, I don't care anymore. Say what you want, those who have seen me before and after I met you and the one before know the truth of what I am like. And all I feel for you now is pity."