Retail Shopping...

Now, these are not immutable, there are exceptions, etc. Take from it what you will, which is hopefully a not of respect for employees and also for fellow shoppers. And before anyone complains that this goes against "customer service": I have worked various aspects of customer service for about 15 years now, everything from lowly bagger to manager. A lot of these benefit not only the cashiers and employees, but you as a shopper. They can help keep costs and prices down, and it keeps you from being a douchenozzle to your fellow shoppers. I will admit, though, that yes, it will also keep a cashier from wanting to "accidentally" bag your eggs under your 10 lb bag of sugar...

Retail Shopping Etiquette

1. If you get an item from a freezer or cooler, it likely requires cold. If you change your mind on that item, put it back in the cooler or freezer. Likewise, if you decide you don't want some item that you picked up from a shelf, do not put it in the freezer. There is no reason to toss produce or cans of soup into the store's freezer, nor should bacon be found sitting in a box of candy. This is as much for your benefit as the store. It reduces the amount of food that the store throws away as waste, which reduces the chance that they have to raise costs. And its safer, because no one wants raw meats and such just randomly hidden behind other groceries, off refrigeration.
2. Two notes, if you go to a store intending to write a check for your purchases. First, go ahead and fill in the things that won't change. Filling out the store name, date, even signature, while the cashier scans your items speeds things up for everyone. Secondly, if you intend to write a check, bring a pen. Bring a damned pen. A cashier may not have one, because they don't often have need for one. A cashier might have a nice pen, that they don't want to risk someone forgetting to hand back. You walked in wanting to write a check, knowing you'd be paying in a way that requires a pen. Bring one.
3. Not every purchase needs a bag. Skipping one saves the store's costs, which keeps their prices low. Milk, for example, does not need a bag. It already has a handle. And saying that a bag makes it easier to carry does not actually fit logic. The milk handle is wider, distributing the weight wider, and the handle is far less likely to break. If the item is so big that nothing could fit in the bag with it, using a bag is kind of wasteful.
4. If you use a basket, drop it back off on your way out. Chances are, the way most stores are set up, you will be walking right back past the racks where you got them from. While the cashiers could put them back if you leave them somewhere random, they may not be able to do so immediately. Until they can, these baskets get in the way. It becomes a safety issue, as I have seen people trip over them. And when the cashier finally can take them back, they have to leave their register to do so, which means that they are not there to serve others due to your laziness. Now, granted, if you have 2 or three bags worth of purchases, plus a bag of dog food in your other arm, it's understandable if you can't carry it. For the most part, though...
5. As in number 4, if you use a cart...put it back. You will be exiting right past where you got it from, and these take up even more space when you just randomly leave it at the end of the checkout lane. It just makes you look like a lazy, entitled prick as every else has to go around your detritus.
6. At least in America, almost every store signals whether a register is open by using the same signal. Wal-Mart, Kroger, Home Depot, Ingles, Publix, Target, Dollar General, all of them. If the light is on, the register is on. If the light is off, register is closed. This is a simple thing, and while occasionally a cashier might forget to flip the switch, this is a general rule of thumb. If you see the cashier ringing out someone, and the light is off, don't blithely start tossing your cart's contents onto the conveyor. Ask if they're open, or just go to another register. By the same token, if the light is on but no one is there, chances are that the cashier simply had to walk away for a moment, to reshelf an item that some other dufus left behind. Give 'em a moment.
7. There should be little or no surprise when you see our total, no reason to tell the cashier “stop when I get to $X”, etc. Prices are generally right there on the shelves with the products. Phones come with calculators built in. Scrap paper is easy to get. If you have a third grade child, chances are they can track your total as you go. Use these resources. When you have to drop off a dozen items because you grabbed more items than you have money, it shows you as a lazy schmuck, these items get in the way of others, and the cashier will likely have to walk away from their register to put these items away.
   
   
   Lastly, remember to please keep calm. If you start yelling because of some small error, chances are that you are yelling at a person least able to help. And we talk. We pass stories. If you're a dick at one store, other stores, even competitors in the area, will know who you are.

Class (Not So) Inequity

Not too long ago, I had gotten into a discussion with someone on Facebook, all done via comments on a friend's update. It had been primarily focused on class issues, racial profiling, etc. Now, I don't often deal in absolutes, I don't often concretely take one side or another on most issues. I like to make allowances for others' points of view, and to keep my own views fluid enough to change if convincing evidence is presented. Even with the things I feel strongest about, I like to leave room for discussion, learning, and discovery.

In this conversation, though, I stopped when the other person said something...well, kind of stupid, and a bit counter to her side. She had been taking the discussion that racial disparities are mostly imposed by people in power, minorities are being kept down by oppressors in power, etc. I didn't necessarily disagree with her views, but neither did I agree 100%. And we went back and forth for a while.

And then she told the tale of her friend Juan. Juan wasn't college-educated, but she didn't go much more into his history. He had been working hard at a full-time job, with a part-time one on the side, to support himself. Then he had kids, 4 of them, and ended up having to work 3 jobs to support all of them. He barely slept. He got sick, pneumonia, and had to be hospitalized. He lost his jobs, lost his health care due to lack of income, and saw medical bills piling up. And so he turned to selling drugs to support his family.

I refrained from further comment, just because I didn't want this person mad at our mutual friend. But I'm sorry, Juan's situation had nothing to do with class, race, people in power, or any of the usual rhetoric nowadays. His situation had one cause: his own poor decision. He had 4 kids! He was barely able to support himself, and then he added 4 more lives to his responsibilities. He had no business doing so, and all of his further travails were caused by that. For $12 or less, a large box of condoms likely would have solved that. If the condom had broken, he could've gotten money from the manufacturer.

His situation deserves little sympathy. His children's deserves more. Lets be honest, if someone adopted 4 dogs and couldn't care for them...people would be calling Animal Control, for both the owner's sake and the animals'.

A Myth...

No matter how much I hear people talking about and clamoring for world peace, I just can't help but shake my head. It's one thing to hope, but...Logically, I just don't see it happening. At least, not until and unless some other threat, outside of humanity, appears from somewhere. Mostly it is just my general lack of confidence in humanity, but let's think about this logically.

Let's imagine that world peace does occur. For one shining moment, all of the peoples and the nations put aside all of their differences, hugging in mutual affection for peace, love, and granola. There are celebrations and parades. Weapons are locked away into deep storage, or destroyed entirely...

Except...

Except for one cache of them, retained by some aspiring despot or radical group. And then as everyone else is celebrating, this armed group marches through and conquers. Deaths occur, blood fills the streets. And someone else finds, unlocks, or builds new weapons to fight them, and these groups do battle. And someone else decides that their battle is unfair, and joins in to stop the fighting. And another group decides to take advantage of the chaos to seize something else entirely. Etc., etc., ad infinitum. All started from just one element breaking the peace.

No Offense...

My last post caused some discussion back and forth, which then caused me some personal introspective thought. And you know, I think the main reason that it really set me off was confusion and disbelief. Really, I just could not imagine someone taking offense at the fact that there was a book in their field of vision with the word SLUT on it. Like, literally, this never occurred to me.

And I came to realize that...well, maybe that's my fault. But then again, I don't think I've ever really taken offense at anything that wasn't actually a personal attack against me or someone I know. Further, it seems that I may be nearly alone in this viewpoint. It works like this: One of my coworkers is highly Christian. Brings a bible to work with her, writes a psalm and "God Bless" on the back of every guest check, etc. I pointed out to the manager that some could take offense at it and complain, just because I've heard it happens. Via hearsay, I know some people might. Logically, personally, I can't imagine why anyone would. It's written on the back of the check, easy to turn over and ignore, and it's like it says, "God Bless, and you're a fucking dumbass if you don't share my views." Nope, just..."God Bless". It's her viewpoint, and she expresses it rather innocuously.

I just cannot fathom the thought processes that would lead to someone being offended by my book, or a "God Bless" on a check, or any number of other things. It just seems like a waste of energy, time, and thought that could be spent on any number of more constructive and/or fun things. Or do they really think that my book visible means I'm, like, just using it as a distraction so I can fuck their daughter across the table, or something? It...Makes...No...Sense...! People are stupid...

Hiding

This post was prompted by an event that occurred the other night at work. The new district manager came in, and had some issue with something. Now, let me start by saying the guy's a bit of a prick to begin with; he was the location manager, and most of us thought that the best part of his promotion was that we wouldn't have to deal with him anymore. But he took particular exception to the book I had with me. That book is "The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships, and Other Adventures". He took exception because it has the word SLUT in large letters on the front cover, and said that it has to be hidden so that people, customers, couldn't see it. I suggested just leaving it on a counter, turned face-down, which he shot down because the word is still on the back, though in smaller letters.

It took me thinking for a while before I realized why I had had such an issue with this, and in fact I felt outright insulted. Maybe the word "slut" is a hot button word for some people, and it may even be offensive to them. But to me, and many others, it is not. I am happy to be a slut. And I really don't think that manager gives people enough credit, particularly considering that I've had that book with me, visible, for about 2-4 weeks now, slowly reading through it and digesting it.

What really offended me, though, was the implication that I have to hide it. The implication is that it should be something to be ashamed of. Even if some people may disagree with my lifestyle, I'm not hurting anybody, neither those who share my ways nor those who do not. I just don't do well at hiding things. I don't go out of my to slap people in the face with it, either. But I don't do well at hiding aspects of myself, because it is simply a subtle form of dishonesty. Anybody who asked, curious about what the book was, was given a short summary (and frankly, I'd recommend it even to people who are monogamous). But personally, I'd rather be honest and be disliked for it than to be dishonest about who I am, and it's a double slap in the face to be told that my lifestyle should be hidden away and that I should be dishonest with people.

That Time Again...

Ahh, the presidential election is almost upon us again. You know, I seem to recall a time when people voted for someone that they actually WANTED in the office. If nothing else, I do remember studying about such people way back in my history and poli sci classes. Now, though...well, now it just seems like everybody just votes for whichever dipshit, partisan career politican they think will fuck up the least.

There's something wrong with that, at least in my opinion. So, I will espouse the same stance I have for years: Don't vote. You can bitch and whine about how it's the duty of every citizen to vote, but it's also the right of every citizen to be represented by something MORE than just the lesser of two evils. And maybe, just maybe, if voter turnout can be reduced to a single-digit number, the career politicians will realize that the people want something a little more and a little better for themselves.

Bulliers gonna bully...

Now, I am not trying to downplay tragedy, but why are there suddenly so many suicides from bullying? When I was younger, let's be honest: I was an overweight, socially awkward bookworm with bad hygiene. And I was bullied. Often. Lots of people I know were bullied. And yet, when I was a kid I never heard of anyone committing suicide because of bullying. Hell, it was even a part of who knows how many older movies and TV shows. People knew about it, they experienced it, they got over it, life went on. I mean, what happened here?

And personally, I think that the extreme measures being enacted now to try to stop bullying are likely to do as much harm as good. I was always taught that when it happens, either ignore them or stand up to them. Kick 'em in the nuts if you have to. It's what I always planned to teach any kids I had, the ability and willingness to defend themselves, along with the restraint to not injure. We were taught it was character-building. Personally, I think it strengthened us, prepared us for hardships later in life. Instead, now, the kids are coddled at best. Quite frankly, I don't think bullying will be stamped out entirely any more than I think war will. Some things are just part of some people's natures, and some people are just shits.

I support movements like the “It Gets Better Project”, etc. Things that help teach kids that these people won't always be around, and that there is a future. But let's be honest, bullying still exists when you hit adulthood. Employers will sometimes bully employees, threatening jobs. Sports fans bully rivals. Neighbors can bully neighbors. I was taught to stand up to them, stand up for myself and what I want. A more beneficial move might be to take the bullying victims and try to teach them martial arts or something of that nature. Most of these new policies and rules, though, seem like they're more likely to convince the kids that nothing like this will ever occur elsewhere, and even if it does, well...there's no need to be able to stand on your own and protect yourself, because someone else will do it for you.

Choice...

So, you hear a lot of the fundamentalists say that homosexuality is a choice. It has to be a choice, it can't just be the way some people are wired, and they can change their minds at any time. Next time you hear someone say that, I say you offer them this challenge:

Tell them to prove it. If it's a choice to be gay, to be turned on sexually by another man (or woman, but I usually hear this shit from men more often than women), then they can easily prove. Have them choose to watch gay porn, or another man masturbate. If they can choose to get aroused, get an erection...then yes, it must be a choice. If they can't bring themselves to get aroused by it, then obviously it's not a choice, it's just the way some people are.

Marriage

So, I couldn't help but hear some Waffle House customers talking the other night about how they basically couldn't believe gays were actually fighting for and wanting the right to marry. Because of something in the Bible, I don't know exactly where the conversation went after that, I did my best to tune out the morons.

First off, while I generally disagree with marriage for myself, I think anyone of legal age who wants to get married should be able to. And frankly, the law should stay out of it, because as far as legal marriage goes, it is simply a financial contract.

As for any argument that gay marriage is opposed in the Bible, let me state this quite clear: Marriage was not invented by the Bible, or by Christianity. Pretty much every culture on Earth has had something approximating it, where two people vow not to have sex with anyone outside of their arrangement and to share financial gains and hardships. When explorers set out from Europe and found various new cultures, these cultures already had something similar to marriage, and had never heard of Christianity or the Bible. Bible opposes gay marriage? Fine. Don't get married in that church. But that should have no bearing on whether the legal arrangement and contract should be able to be entered into under the law. Separation of church and state. I almost find it hard to believe that this is an issue at all. And then I remember: people are stupid. ;P

False Advertising

So, I stopped off at Taco Bell the other night, on my way home from work. Long night, just didn't feel like cooking when I got home, and I wanted to try the new XXL Chalupa. Looked tasty in the commercials, and on the big sign on the store front and on the menu. Then I got my order, opened the box. Shell was all droopy, meat was about a third of what was in the picture, lettuce and such were almost absent.

Most of you will read this and just think, "Yeah, that's how that works, the picture's never like the actual item." We've grown complacent, fine with restaurants showing us a picture of something, and then taking our money and giving something far, far short of it. Not only fast food, but even many of the sit-down restaurants. And I may be alone in this, but when I go someplace to eat, my decision is influenced by not only the description but by the picture. I say it's time that this stopped, and I hope that you all will join me. Next time I go someplace to eat, and the food served falls that very far short of the picture, I will be taking it back to the counter, asking for my money back, and telling them exactly why. I will then send an E-mail to their corporate contact, telling them about. Maybe if enough of us do this, and they start losing the money, things might change.